Dan Daiquiri

As I have previously stated over a few forms of media I recently have been struggling to cope with certain elements of my mind however the differences between this time and others is recognising what those particular feelings are and most of the time letting them pass than dwelling.

Now I can almost plot these feelings on a spectrum and rate them on how they make me feel. The true joy is feeling them, knowing them and from that the feelings become almost painless- the mistakes I was making in the past was more veered towards getting caught up in every single little uncomfortable feeling and trying to figure out the source, or ways that could possibly help in rectifying my issue- in turn alleviating that particular thought from ever occurring again. The key problem being that not everything can be perfect and focussing on every tiny detail of your life and constantly trying to better it can definitely drain all of your energy leaving you potentially worse off.

So through my recent months, I have made significant changes to my thinking and to my lifestyle also. The main change being the way I recognise my thoughts and how they can impact how I feel. The direct link between your own thoughts and how they can poison your body is mad and its only after actually taking some downtime to realise this that can help, I believe I have the books I have read recently to thank for that.

Now the worst mistake anyone can make is thinking that you can overhaul and entirely change yourself overnight. We are conditioned to believe that everything we do has instant gratification due to the rapid growth of technology and social media, this is of course false and can also lead to many giving up on their goals. I don’t want to be another one of those stories; I used to be someone who never gave up on anything, was driven by an unknown force- I guess driven by the desire to be a success story. Coming from the depths of addiction/plain stupidity onto the path I was on with the opportunities I was given was already a huge step of which I never realised at the time. I thought back then I could still continue to live on both sides of the fence, still under addiction and also chasing what I thought was my goal. There came a point where I truly felt a burnout stage- now this burnout was different from anything I’d experienced. It lead to me giving up on something, a module at university and although this wasn’t a major thing to give up it still gave me a great feeling of freedom, of knowing that not every single plan you have needs to succeed- it is our mistakes that define us and give us the courage and further knowledge to apply to future strategies.

Although the feeling was incredibly liberating and relieved a lot of stress I truly believe that from that exact moment was when my old source of drive and motivation died, never to be seen again. It wasn’t long after that other parts of my life began to slip as I realised that there isn’t one route to success- success is subjective anyway, my definition from 2 years ago is different from now and I know that in 2 more years it will be something completely different.