Dan Daiquiri

Deep breath in, I remember being sick again and the colour being a strange luminous orange colour. It resembled a Kandinsky painting. Specs of colour and blotches were all scattered. Yet, they were all in alignment to form a beautiful spectrum of colour and textures. The notes of both toasted blood orange, and a Stabilo highlighter-esque hue.

I reached for my face and wiped it. I looked in the mirror. My pupils were wired, just like the few brain cells I had at that moment. It was always weird looking in the mirror after one of those crazy sessions. My hair always went super scruffy. It was like an old broom that had been used to sweep and pavements at the side of an outdoor cafe, one time too many. The orange powder all encrusted around my nostrils didn’t help. The pills were very difficult to crush. Any ecstasy pill was hard, but these orange ones were the apex of crushing. They left an orange residue everywhere. Back then, at any party, you’d often see a rainbow of colours. They’d be splayed over multiple DVD cases around the host’s house. Imagine a child in nursery, given free reign over a fresh palette of watercolour paints. It would look like a distorted art exhibition of colour. In retrospect, the blood orange hues were from the lining of my nose. Over the years this has eroded away. At this time, it was still fresh on the scene. It was only tainted by the MCAT phase of earlier years and the odd line of other substances.

I tried to clear the orange residue from my nostril by hocking. It only ever made me feel even worse. Still, the slight pick me up from another microdose of ecstasy goes a long way after 3 days. It helps especially before starting a 12 hour shift in the casino. I would speak to and serve folks who, for the most part, were very nice but also miserable. Lost in the depths of their own personal problems, most stemming from their relationship to gambling. Marital issues, deep debt and self loathing was the air around in that place, especially during the daytime. At night the air changed, and added to it was an alcohol fuelled frenzy with instances of aggression and misogyny. Fuelling their problems, whilst trying to escape my own.